I should have known that when I woke up with two (that’s right t-w-o) fever blisters on my mouth that nothing good could come of today.

Besides the oral herpes the day started fine. Tuesday is the day that I take Lily to the doctor’s office to get weighed. I’m totally obsessed with her weigh gain. I’ll explain more about that later.

She was napping well so I put her in her car seat around 10:30 and we went and ran the arrears that I had planned. We stopped by my office and got her newspaper birth announcement, went and got Waldo’s coffee, stopped at the grocery store and got cheese. Then came the doctor’s office. I make sure its our last stop because Lily hates the whole getting undressed and then redressed part.

She amazed me by not uttering any complaints while I took her clothes and diaper off. The nurse asked me what she weighed last week because she had forgotten to grab her chart. I told her 7 lbs 5 oz. She moved the little number on the old style scale and it registered 7 lbs 5 oz. No change from last week. She was very nice and suggested that I don’t wait till next Tuesday for Lily’s 2 month check up, I should get her in at the end of the week. She also said that she’d let Lily’s regular doctor know about her weight and her slight yellowness. Lil’s regular doctor is off on maternity leave herself.

I cried the whole way home. I knew this was going to mean doing more supplementing. I hate giving her formula. I so badly want Lily to be a breastfed baby. I just want whats best for her and I truly believe that’s my milk. But apparently my body has other plans or something.

Waldo and I talked about it on AIM. I cried some more. I got ahold of myself and rescheduled Lily’s appointment to this Friday afternoon. Then I cried some more.

Lily’s regular doctor had gotten the message and called me. Thankfully by this time I was calm again. We spoke and she said what we already knew. We have to give her a little formula everyday again. She also suggests we give the supplements in a bottle, just so she doesn’t get past the point where she might never take a bottle. No bottles would be fine with me, but in reality I know she needs to have a bottle every once in a while if I ever want to have dinner alone with my hubby or heaven forbid go to the movies.

I know that this is what needs to happen to help Lily grow, but I hate it.

Lily now enjoys some tummy time everyday. It may only be 5 minutes or so but its something.

Well yesterday I put her on the floor to take her 8 week picture but she wasn’t up for a photo session right then. So I turned her over onto her tummy and she and I talked for a couple of minutes and the next thing I know she rolled half way over. She ended up back on her tummy but I was so very excited for her that I ran to my computer and sent Waldo an instant message about how big our girl was getting.

When I turned back around she was on her back! I couldn’t believe it. I missed it! After giving Lily lots of praise and kisses I then told Waldo how I had missed it. Then I told Lily to stop growing up so darn fast.

Last Friday I was sitting with Lily at my computer. She was facing me and we were chatting away like normal. I’m sure some day soon she’ll have more to say then the occasional squeak and “aaahhhhh”. I’m okay with carrying the conversation till then though. During this deep and meaningful talk I smiled at her and she smiled back. It was beautiful. Big open mouth and her whole face was in on it. I wish I could have gotten a picture but it was so unexpected and quick. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what it looked like even without photographic evidence.
She did it twice more on Saturday. Since then I hadn’t been able to get another one out of her until today.
They are just melt your heart wonderful and I can’t wait till she smiles all the time.
Lily is so amazing and changing/growing daily. Now I just have to figure out how to get her to gain weight. I’m sure that will come in time too though.